What kind of growth should I expect in counseling?

You are exploring the idea of counseling because you want to change. But what kind of growth can you really expect? Can you dare to experience a deep and lasting transformation?


These are great questions, and they can be challenging to answer because counseling isn't a one-size-fits-all experience. But there are some simple and helpful ways to explore these questions.


There are many ways you can experience growth. Here are a few:


  • You can decrease unhelpful, painful, or destructive experiences.

  • You can learn new skills.

  • You can gain new perspectives and ways of thinking.

  • You can learn new ways of understanding yourself and your life.

  • You can grow in intimacy and connection with the people you love the most

  • You can become more creative and productive

  • You can have new experiences of thriving, flourishing, and joy.

So how do I approach this in my work as a counselor? To begin with, I have clients clarify transformation goals at the beginning of their work with me.

Clients don't typically come to me wanting small changes.

"Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch." ~James Baldwin

Here are a few of the transformation goals that my clients report at the beginning of our work together:

  • Deep life transformation.

  • To save their marriage and experience deep intimacy for the first time in their life.

  • To radically improve their communication and learn how to resolve and navigate ongoing, unrelenting, confounding conflict they are experiencing in their most important relationships.

  • Clarity on their life's calling; they want to experience deep hope and purpose in their life.

  • To learn how to set boundaries with toxic and difficult situations that they face.

  • To courageously pursue their deepest desires and hopes.

  • To transform their experience, trust, and relationship with God as they understand Him.

  • To improve their sexual intimacy; they want to restore trust and intimacy and overcome betrayal trauma.

  • To face their childhood trauma.

  • To experience lasting serenity and peace.

These may seem like extravagant ways to grow, but I find that the clients I work with regularly experience this kind of growth.


More often than not my clients overcome anxiety, depression, addiction, affairs, and despair. I regularly hear couples clients share with me that their marriage was on the rocks, quickly headed to divorce, and that after working with me their marriage has been saved. They have rediscovered their best friend.


Of course I can't promise this kind of growth. Much of it depends on you, your level of commitment, and what you bring to our work together. But I can say that I regularly help clients achieve this kind of growth.


To break growth down in a simple way, on a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is deep suffering and 10 is deep thriving in the primary areas of desired growth, I regularly see clients experience incredible change moving from a 2 or 3 to a 9 or 10.


If we do a free initial 15 to 20 minute phone consultation you can ask me more questions to see if I'm a good fit for you.


Reach out to me and I hope I can support you in experiencing deep transformation. Whether you work with me or not, I hope you have the courage to get whatever support and take whatever steps are needed to face your struggles and overcome them.


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